We know what it's like. It's the very height of summer and one has invited one's chums and neighbours round to one's gadget palace for a genteel barbie and a few tinnes of extremely strong lager. But there's a problem in the condimentary department. Nothing's coming. You wait. You tap. Your thwack. Then SPLURGE - a European Ketchup Mountain of hot sticky ketchup descends over your best mate's lap. Cripes.
Now why tap the bottom of the bottle in vain, when one can squeeze the trigger of joy? Indeed all manner of such diplomatic incidents can now be avoided with the indescribably lunatic help of the Condiment Gun - a plastic six-shooter of the yee-hah variety crammed full not with silver bullets, but your choice of sauces, ketchups or mustard.
Simply load the barrel, engage the locking device, then squeeze the trigger to produce a crimson fountain of delicious ketchup goo - on demand, in a straight line. Hilarious, but dashed effective.
Built from robust, moulded plastic, it's eminently washable so wont bung-up, unlike that old ketchup bottle of yours. Complete with two different sauce cartridges - colour-coded so our American cousins can work out which is for ketchup and which is for mustard - the race is then on to re-enact one's favourite movie scenes, as well as deliver lashings and lashings of the finest that Heinz can produce.
Condimentary, my dear Watson.